Warning serious thread: Lessons learned from BB

[lynw1]

It is great to see we are making friends and having fun , but I just felt that a bit of what the FAKERS were about was addressing the serious issues Aisleyne was facing. I just wanted to bring some of that spirit back whilst having fun elsewhere on this great forum! So I have put down some of the thoughts I have had since BB7 finished.

GMTV are running an anti bullying campaign for kids going back to school. This has reminded me of the anger and dismay I felt whilst watching BB this year. It as also made me think of the wider impact this years BB might have on the younger viewers.

I wonder how many of the bullies are returning to school renewed with the confidence that they are the ‘cool’ ones, after watching the TV. Throughout the summer we have seen threatening and intimidating behaviour encouraged by the producers of the Big Brother and sister programmes. Previous housemates used aggressive attitudes and used the words “beat her up” and “Sort her out” to campaign for their re-entry into the house.

This was never addressed as unacceptable behaviour; in fact it was applauded and used by the programme makers to increase the public interest in voting back ex housemates and to restore the ‘entertainment value’ of the programme.

I fear that the children returning to school will have learned some interesting lessons during their school holidays, such as:

· It is OK to throw water to deliberately humiliate someone, after all it is not physical violence as it didn’t hurt, and it is excusable if you are under the age of 20.

· If you call someone a moose and throw water over them you can be called a ‘great housemate’ and you can get magazine deals and fame and fortune.

· You can call someone a sl@g and pretend to be intimidated by them to gain sympathy from your peers, you will then be seen as the most popular and the most entertaining,

· You can threaten to “sort someone out” and you will be rewarded with the opportunity by the authorities, as this may be entertaining to watch.

· You can undermine someone with cutting remarks and convince them that they are disliked enough to make the person feel worthless and to emotionally break down. This will not be your fault, as it will be seen as a character flaw in the person concerned.

· If you are feeling threatened or feel isolated by the group, you must not say anything as you will be seen as a weak individual and possibly be viewed as someone pretending to be upset to gain attention.

I am sure all of these lessons will be very useful to the bullies returning to school, and the victims will have learned that they have less of a voice to shout out about bullying than they had before. This worries me a great deal and I really feel that these irresponsible programme makers should address this issue.

[Angie]

What a great post Lyn and very thought provoking. Here's hoping the parents of the kids who witnessed this on BB have explained to their kids that this is NOT the way to behave

[Admin]

Thanks lynw1.

I have not forgotten and have received a reply from the CPW re my complaints about the program in relation to the bullying and BBBM.

I am afraid it is not only school children, but adults that will take these messages on board.

I have just seen it in full flow on the other forum, some people never let up.

Bullying in the workplace is very common and indeed this tactic is used often in that situation.

You can undermine someone with cutting remarks and convince them that they are disliked enough to make the person feel worthless and to emotionally break down. This will not be your fault, as it will be seen as a character flaw in the person concerned.

I work with young people and bullying is very prevalent, even from those who have been bullied themselves. We have to try and make it clear that it is not acceptable and take action where necessary.

[battybetty]

I agree lyn. And it was one of the main reason so many of us became allies on the forums. We did what we could then, signing petitions and raising complaints. But its as you say, the message has already been sent to schoolkids across the country, 'its ok to bully and threaten'!

Big question is, what ever happened as a result of all that to actually change anything??

Has there been any public apology or explanation from BB or Endemol for the whole BBBM fiasco or the encouragement the returning HM's were given to 'stir things up'??

How many people have heard back since making their various complaints?

Is BB and/or endemol being taken to task? And if so, to what extent?

Now that the show is over, are we all supposed to forget about it while they sweep it under the carpet?

And heres the BIG question...

What can/are we able to do about it??
It's all well and good to spout off to ourselves about how outraged we were at the appalling behavior exhibited. But what next as far as we are concernd?? Can we do more? Should we be doing more, and if so what?

[Harvestgoddess]

You are right to adress this and im pleased you have i find it disgusting that the bullies have been shown as some sort of champions it sends out a really bad message and i hope that parents are explaining to their children that this behavior is wrong my daughter is a bb viewer im lucky that she has a sensible head and knows that this isnt the way to treat people like me she felt sick at the way the housemates treated aisleyne but as youve pointed out their is a much bigger picture and lots of children will think its a cool way to act and behave personally i think something should be done with regards the terrible message big brother is putting across not only to children but young adults there are constantly awfull stories in the papers about some poor child thats has been bullied yet at the same time they give kudos to bullies such as grace and nikki
Im not sure how to go about making these take responsability but its high time they did !

[adorabora]

OP what a great post. I am not good at putting words to paper however if we are a thousand plus strong surely we have a large voice, I am prepared to stand up and be counted in a cause against bullying and its after effects, I need someone and there must be someone among us to get this ball rolling, I am prepared and very willing to do wharever I can to help I just need direction.

[battybetty]

Does anyone think it might be an interesting idea to approach Ais agent to see if she would be interested in getting involved in a campaign.
Im sure someone mentioned it previously. With her on board we'd have a lot more chance of the media paying attention. Trouble is, the longer we leave it after BB is over, the less worthy of airtime it becomes, and it would need to get on tv to hit the message home to the youngsters.
Surely we'd need to get things moving quick smart to have any chance of a campaign getting noticed?
Perhaps beajie could use some of her contacts in the industry?

[remaha]

Well said lynw1. If I achieve nothing else with my kids, I hope its to teach them that bullying is wrong and to be strong by showing that they won't allow others to do it. As we saw in BB, it's easy for people to follow the example of a gang leader and it takes courage to stand up to it in those situations. That's one of the great things that Ash did during her time in the house. And why she deserves great respect.

[lynw1]

Thanks everyone, I know that this is what the fakers stand for.

I have not heard any acknowledgment of the bullying, I didn't get any response to my complaints.

I would like to write an account of what we witnessed and how this became an issue, some sort of time line account of what happened. It is difficult now because we have to rely on memory and don't have hours of footage to go over.

I think some of the LUT threads might be useful (will they be deleted soon?), but there are a lot to go through. I would also like to address the way Ais was portrayed in the HL shows. My theory is that she was portrayed as the bad guy as a cover for the bullying (at least at towards the end). If Ais is portrayed as high Mach, hard 'Ghetto princess' then bullying is not an issue!

I think they deliberately did not show her caring compassionate side as this would show up the bullying more, and they certainly did not show what the others were doing to undermine her. What they portrayed in the final weeks was someone crying for no reason, which supported the fake, attention seeking persona that they had constructed.

I am not sure what use it would be, but I think putting it in context would at least show that we are not just complaining for the sake of it.

[battybetty]

lynw1 said:

Thanks everyone, I know that this is what the fakers stand for.

I have not heard any acknowledgment of the bullying, I didn't get any response to my complaints.

I would like to write an account of what we witnessed and how this became an issue, some sort of time line account of what happened. It is difficult now because we have to rely on memory and don't have hours of footage to go over.

I think some of the LUT threads might be useful (will they be deleted soon?), but there are a lot to go through. I would also like to address the way Ais was portrayed in the HL shows. My theory is that she was portrayed as the bad guy as a cover for the bullying (at least at towards the end). If Ais is portrayed as high Mach, hard 'Ghetto princess' then bullying is not an issue!

I think they deliberately did not show her caring compassionate side as this would show up the bullying more, and they certainly did not show what the others were doing to undermine her. What they portrayed in the final weeks was someone crying for no reason, which supported the fake, attention seeking persona that they had constructed.

I am not sure what use it would be, but I think putting it in context would at least show that we are not just complaining for the sake of it.

Hi again lyn

You can try it, but proving the poor portrayal was deliberate, is going to be really difficult one to crack. BBBB even did an alternate viewpoint on the Machiavellian stuff towards the end, showing it in a more positive light and stating it meant she wasn't fake but adaptable.
Also, as Ais said herself, they have the right to edit the footage however they like. It's cr*p but I doubt its an avenue that would serve the purpose

I think that sticking to the whole issue of the hyped up returning of former HM's and the BBBM debacle is the best route to take.

But thats only my own opinion of course. And I will naturally back 100% anything that's taken forward.

Not sure how long the luts stay available for Im afraid. Im sure quite a few people will have recorded the BBBM episode though.