CH4 News Stories and other resources

[remaha]

I have set up a freewebs space to share some files and resources connected with the "Story of Aisleyne".

At the moment, you'll find two Word Files on the site:

(a) C4 News Stories (The main News Stories from the C4 website about Aisleyne - be warned this is a big file)

(b) Great Posts about Aisleyne (Self-explanatory)

You can find them at www.freewebs.com/remaha/

[rudyrudyrudy]

good work remaha; unfortunately i couldn't open the files in my wordpad program, something about word 97 conversion error?

[remaha]

rudyrudyrudy said:

good work remaha; unfortunately i couldn't open the files in my wordpad program, something about word 97 conversion error?

rudy3, I did the Word files in Word 2000. They include a contents list and a bit of formatting that might not work with a Word 97 converter.

I've now put up a text version of both files as well.

[battybetty]

Nice work Andy

[Admin]

My goodness you put some work into that Thank you.

[remaha]

I've added another file up there with info about nominations and evictions, percentages and the like if anyone's interested. Only a Word 2000 version I'm afraid as it's in tables.

[remaha]

I've added a new version of the C4 News Stories file to my freeweb space- www.freewebs.com/remaha/.

The original was in reverse chronological order. The new file is now in proper chronological order and has a better contents list.

I've also put a rtf version of all three files up. The other files available are "Great Posts about Aisleyne" and "Nominations and Evictions".

[Admin]

The Trial of Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace

Day 76, 23:46 BST - by Emzi Tingay

Order! Order in the DS:BB court! In the case the Public versus Ms Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace. Prepare your spin and rise for the defence!

Thank you, your honour.

Twelve days into the series, a TV teenager and a surgically-enhanced London promotions lads mag hag entered the Big Brother house. "Hey, don't hold back on the stereotypes, Endemol," I sneered, sofa-bound from behind my Pot Noodle. On paper, you couldn't get more a banally generic pair of Big Brother contestant if you tried. A wave of Big Brother yawns echoed across the land. I almost spontaneously combusted with apathy. The also-rans had arrived.

Ok, initially Aisleyne interested me in that I salivated at the fact that a nice, formerly religious girlie had become some shimmery, fluffy, ghetto fabulous tramp. Oh yes, the Daily Mail's idea of hell was in the Big Brother house. I imagined Anne Atkins whipping herself into a frenzy of doom and throwing herself headfirst into her Aga at the very sight of thongy wrongy Aisleyne wiggling her supposed gangster moll white rude gal ass into every living room in Britain. Marvellous.

Glisten Without Prejudice.

No sooner had glittery Aisleyne sashayed into the house, the Trashleyne bandwagon began to roll. First we had Turk berk Sezer who "vowed to bully her", an endless tirade of insults from Grace and Nikki who between them managed to label Aisleyne "Dog, hoochie mama, moose, wigga, bi@tch, slag, very *friendly* person, liar, the ****". Worse still, they deliver the ultimate insult - implying that Aisleyne belonged in Swindon or even Slough. A Slougher, eh? Jeez ladies, there are some lines you just shouldn't cross.

"Trash Ash Bashing" was also rampant outside the house, certain celebrity internet boards snaringly fanfared that Aisleyne was a prostitute, the feminists gnawed her to shreds for being pictured sitting on Mike Tyson's lap. Despite her tabloid titillation looks, The Sun wouldn't touch her with a booby bargepole, opting to refer to her as 'blonde airhead' rather than its usual 'sexy babe' rhetoric. Even certain comedians reverted to yawnsome gobshitedness, making out that Aisleyne was a female Ali G. The raucous yet bewildering boos came blasting over the Big Brother walls and before long, it looked like Aisleyne was heading straight for Nuts magazine without so much as a whiff of relevance to the game itself.

Hidden Hippy?

It soon became clear to many that the booing and the bad edits were not correlating with the kaftan-clad, music mad, affectionate young woman with the donkey laugh we were seeing on the live feed. Tellingly, she confided to Pete that the promotions work she was currently doing involved working with shallow people, which she hated and wanted to escape. You get the feeling being a dolly doxy isn't Aisleyne's bag anymore. With talk of dreams about opening beach cafes and gypsy headdresses and bonding via hairplatting, I wondered if there was an earth mother screaming to get out of Aisleyne. Complex? Oh yes. The thing about Aisleyne is you can't categorise her, she is indefinable. She ticks too many boxes and it confuses people. Bah, we don't understand – she must be fake, right? Let's take a moment to zoom in on Aisleyne's background.

All Along The Watchtower

Much has been made of fragile Nikki's mental state over the course of Big Brother, few have bothered to cast their amateur psychology cape over Ash.

You have to question the mindset of a woman who grew up without a father and when she found him, found herself in a teenager's hostel, clinging to dangerous or unavailable men. Couple that with the constant sucky thumb and almost pathological need to dispense physical comfort, have we massively overlooked Aisleyne's vulnerability?

Then there's a small matter of her mother for who, if press reports are correct, preferred religion over her daughter resulting in ex-communication and disownment. While we are watching her, former members of Jehovah Witness community are also watching Aisleyne – spotting remnants of Jehovah teachings in her current understanding of spirituality is what seems to be the point of interest.

If the press stories about Aisleyne's background are true, then there are hidden gems of Big Brother magic here. How Aisleyne's long lost dad found her after so many years by seeing her name written on a car windscreen sticker is candy pop fairytale stuff of the highest order.

Oh and to top it all, ear-hungry Iron Mike Tyson is reported to be trying to contact Aisleyne, by sending flowers to the studio much the irritation of Endemol. You couldn't make it up.

Journeywoman.

There are so many contrived ‘journeys' in Big Brother history. The working class man beating the toff, the gay acceptance, the faux Girlpower winner, the transsexual acceptance, the lowly virgin fisherman hits the bright lights. Blah blah blah. This year, Endemol rattling the Tourette's acceptance tin at us all. 50p in the slot, please.

In the mish-mash of preconception about Aisleyne's street tough façade, and Endemol failing to bulldoze her character into the pit of contestants marked villains, we lost the rude gal. Saddened as I am at the way she sterilised her personality after hearing to boos, it's not difficult to see she' s a complex character but her heart is always in the right place. She's achingly human, acting, bitching, questioning her behaviour, being paranoid, and coasting away like any of us would in there. By her own admission she does not recognise her weepy self now, the house, the system, the housemates, her faults, Big Brother in one whirling maelstrom of negativity, has beaten her. She'll be fine of course, she didn't get to be the promotions princess she is by maudlin in pity.

For Aisleyne to make it to the final, having been the most misunderstood housemate since Jade Goody, would be nothing less than surprising. A win would be awesome. Leaving with her sanity intact after such a negative BB experience would be spectacular in itself. Beating people's common preconceptions about her bad girl, bimbo-esque profile, ladies and gentleman of the jury, would be a real Big Brother journey.

Summing up for the defence, M'lud

And that, your honour, concludes my evidence to the DS:BB court, a fair crack at balance for all the undeserved booing. I just hope I haven't left a Benny Hill Show type image in your head of Aisleyne running away in her thong bikini followed by Mike Tyson, Endemol security, the Jehovah's Witnesses, Nikki brandishing a copy of Heat magazine, screeching "I'm more famous than you, wannabee black girl!", some feminists, Justin Lee Collins, Ash's Daddy Wallace and a runaway lawnmower following her. She's interesting, people's reaction to her is hilarious and hysterical, I want her to win. I rest my case.

Feel free to rip my defence to shreds, so long as you smile sympathetically and play affectionately with someone else's hair while you're doing it.