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Post by nobrains on Sept 5, 2006 10:49:21 GMT
I wrote this in an attempt to help someone in Matchdoctor. It summarises a bit of my understanding of a method of understanding ourselves and helping ourselves. I am NOT qualified to council a person so all due cynicism in reading this is welcome:-
One can think of the human mind as a collection of belief systems that have varying strengths according to circumstance. A belief or attitude usually contains a 'must' or a 'should' and sometimes a 'but' clause. For example a simple and reasonable belief would be that people must give me the correct change when I buy something. If someone breaks that belief the result is an emotional condition, probably anger.
The problem with some beliefs that is that they create demands on the world, these demands are set up with the 'should' and 'must' words. When these demands aren’t satisfied the result is an emotional condition like anger, jealously and depression.
You can also use this model to explain panic attacks. When a person who holds two equally balanced beliefs and they find themselves in a situation where they oppose each other the feeling of panic is going to occur. For example if there is a mess and you believe that you must not leave a mess before you leave and you believe that you can not be late for work. The two beliefs work against one another and cause panic.
So according to the REBT methodology the mind and emotional reaction works something along the lines of - something happens - belief stimulated - emotional reaction results. The resulting emotional reaction may also be a further stimulant that connects to another belief and results in further more complex emotional reactions. This all assumes a normal brain. That is that there is nothing chemically wrong within the mind. All of this is a point of view and may be completely wrong or not necessarily an approach suitable for some individuals.
The mind is capable of hiding painful beliefs from the person who holds them. That is the don't why they react the way they do because the memory of how a belief originated is to painful to recall.
Simple start to becoming rational about ones emotions is to exercise away the mental must that exist when you think about things. It would be nice if I could be respected but I don't have to be. Is a rational statement because it accepts that the demand does not have to be fulfilled.
It is not just the realisation of what beliefs you have that cause you problems that help you remove a problem. You also need to deliberately put yourself into a situation that you can handle that enables you to know that you are exercising that belief and becoming comfortable with an idea that originally made you uncomfortable.
For example I used to fear what people thought of me. So I could not do silly things in public. So I exercised this fear by doing silly walks in a Park in front of a passer by. Knowing the belief that I was exercising and using the rational additions to my belief e.g. 'What they think of me is their problem' I was able to remove my fear. Thus I was able to enjoy myself and be less 'uptight' and 'too serious' when before an audience.
As I tried to indicate earlier beliefs can be chained together. A good councillor will get someone with problems to reveal these chains until a possible painful and hidden belief is revealed. Then begins the process of turning that belief in a rational one.
One can think of the human mind as a collection of belief systems that have varying strengths according to circumstance. A belief or attitude usually contains a 'must' or a 'should' and sometimes a 'but' clause. For example a simple and reasonable belief would be that people must give me the correct change when I buy something. If someone breaks that belief the result is an emotional condition, probably anger.
The problem with some beliefs that is that they create demands on the world, these demands are set up with the 'should' and 'must' words. When these demands aren’t satisfied the result is an emotional condition like anger, jealously and depression.
You can also use this model to explain panic attacks. When a person who holds two equally balanced beliefs and they find themselves in a situation where they oppose each other the feeling of panic is going to occur. For example if there is a mess and you believe that you must not leave a mess before you leave and you believe that you can not be late for work. The two beliefs work against one another and cause panic.
So according to the REBT methodology the mind and emotional reaction works something along the lines of - something happens - belief stimulated - emotional reaction results. The resulting emotional reaction may also be a further stimulant that connects to another belief and results in further more complex emotional reactions. This all assumes a normal brain. That is that there is nothing chemically wrong within the mind. All of this is a point of view and may be completely wrong or not necessarily an approach suitable for some individuals.
The mind is capable of hiding painful beliefs from the person who holds them. That is the don't why they react the way they do because the memory of how a belief originated is to painful to recall.
Simple start to becoming rational about ones emotions is to exercise away the mental must that exist when you think about things. It would be nice if I could be respected but I don't have to be. Is a rational statement because it accepts that the demand does not have to be fulfilled.
It is not just the realisation of what beliefs you have that cause you problems that help you remove a problem. You also need to deliberately put yourself into a situation that you can handle that enables you to know that you are exercising that belief and becoming comfortable with an idea that originally made you uncomfortable.
For example I used to fear what people thought of me. So I could not do silly things in public. So I exercised this fear by doing silly walks in a Park in front of a passer by. Knowing the belief that I was exercising and using the rational additions to my belief e.g. 'What they think of me is their problem' I was able to remove my fear. Thus I was able to enjoy myself and be less 'uptight' and 'too serious' when before an audience.
As I tried to indicate earlier beliefs can be chained together. A good councillor will get someone with problems to reveal these chains until a possible painful and hidden belief is revealed. Then begins the process of turning that belief in a rational one.