ODM, DT, lynw1, beajie, bbb, nobrains, etc

[battybetty]

You still up working on it ODM?? Naughty!!! I woke up 5 minutes ago sat at my desk, head lolling on my chest and mouse still in my hand

That was a nice attempt for 2.30 in the morning. I bet you'll have it licked by the time I get onto the forum tomorrow nightl later this evening Less controversial than mine

Forgot to say earlier this part is a direct quote from a real life bully's own account:

"'There's this boy in our class, Carl. He was a right pain, I mean, he just whinged about everything. I once told him he was a wimp and he cried and the awful thing was that I felt good seeing him cry. The others laughed and that made me feel even better. Then it got to be a habit..."

We are all aware that many bullies will have either suffered a bad experience themselves or are unhappy with their life in some way.
The important thing here, is that this doesn't make what bullies do right but understanding what might lie behind their behaviour can sometimes help matters.

**climbs quietly back off soapbox and tip toes out again still thinking far too hard**

[odm]

battybetty said:

You still up working on it ODM?? Naughty!!! I woke up 5 minutes ago sat at my desk, head lolling on my chest and mouse still in my hand

That was a nice attempt for 2.30 in the morning. I bet you'll have it licked by the time I get onto the forum tomorrow nightl later this evening Less controversial than mine

Forgot to say earlier this part is a direct quote from a real life bully's own account:

"'There's this boy in our class, Carl. He was a right pain, I mean, he just whinged about everything. I once told him he was a wimp and he cried and the awful thing was that I felt good seeing him cry. The others laughed and that made me feel even better. Then it got to be a habit..."

We are all aware that many bullies will have either suffered a bad experience themselves or are unhappy with their life in some way.
The important thing here, is that this doesn't make what bullies do right but understanding what might lie behind their behaviour can sometimes help matters.

**climbs quietly back off soapbox and tip toes out again still thinking far too hard**

hello my little bud well, i am not in bed yet we are both up as we laid in very late today having worked late last nite, i dread going to bed at moment with this coughing thing...ugh.. anyway i was only trying to experiment with very SMALL children who would get a bit blinded by telephone numbers and big talk, you know what I mean, so the post is for little ones really in a way I am hoping would be understood, kind of simple but to the point..

I am with you about the whining thing mentioned earlier. I honestly believe there is no excuse for bullying regardless of how it arrives.. I bladdy hate bullies, i think we all do.. the more input we can forward and the more we can strike home a good and profound message, the better it will be. xxxxxxx

[battybetty]

I can see you've worked hard on simplifying it already ODM.
Looks good. That cheesy grin smiley with all the teeth is a bit scary though He looks like he'd be better off coming over to the fakers bar with me though ;D
I can very easily work the story without the bullys comments on his 'victim', so it's not a big deal in a practical sense. If Im honest half of me still want's to lift my whole story off the thread though It'll never feel good enough to me.

Groan! I have work in 4 hours..yuck! Deep joy!!Arghwoman and stop moaning.
for ODM working away hard xxx

[odm]

battybetty said:

I can see you've worked hard on simplifying it already ODM.
Looks good. That cheesy grin smiley with all the teeth is a bit scary though He looks like he's be betting coing over to the fakers bar with me though ;D
I can very easily work the story wihtout the bullys comments on his 'victim', so it's not a big deal practically. If Im honest half of me still want's to lift my whole story off the thread though It'll never feel good enough to me.

Groan! I have work in 4 hours..yuck! Deep joy!!Arghwoman and stop moaning.
for ODM working away hard xxx

No ..dont say that BB...all the work you have made on your story board is VERY VERY important. The idea is to get several TYPES of story not just one. My own effort was trying to put my mind into that of a very LITTLE child who perhaps would see things more simply.. but the story you have written easily compensates for an age group slightly up from that. It is so important that we recognise childrens fears and worries from ALL AGES.. an older child would just groan at something I have done as it would not hit the spot..please see that all the work you have done is extremely valuable and we must try to reach all children in all situations...you have a fantastic sense of creative input. The more storyboards we get the better it is..there are lots of children out there facing different situations.. if anything, we must create more...the more the merrier xxx get some rest BB xxx loves ya ps. have changed the smiley, he did look like he needed the dentist LOL...the new one is better...xx

[battybetty]

Dont worry izzy, you should know better that to listen to the ramblings of an insecure insomniac Did you not notice I was transposing every other letter and missing every third one in that last post? LOL I sounded drunk! You just can't get the keyboards these days
Od course I wouldn't lift the story completley but I barely talked myself into posting it in the first place so it shouldn't be so surprising for me to say it hun. You know what Im like. I've already altered it again slightly **stops to yawn and rub eyes**
I will try and grab an hour or so shut eye. Your doing good izzy, theres a knack needed for talking to the littler 'uns xxx cuL8r xxx

[remaha]

I think I'll make this my final contribution to this discussion about the story and then leave it to people who are better qualified to decide.

I propose these two alternatives for minor wording changes that would assuage my concerns:

Version 1
"A while ago Jamie noticed one boy in his class, Tim, who he thought was a bit of a pain, always whinging about everything. It got on Jamie’s nerves."

Version 2
"A while ago Jamie noticed one boy in his class, Tim, who he thought was a bit of a pain and got on his nerves."

Both suggestions are designed to emphasise that it was Jamie who "thought" Tim was whinger/a bit of a pain. It doesn't pass any judgement on whether this was true or not. This is still true to the real life scenario that BB based the story on. The extract that BB put up late last night was, of course in Jamie's words.

That's me done. I now leave it up to everyone else.

[Harvestgoddess]

Well my daughter thinks all the storys are brilliant and also wants ago now but she enjoyed them all

[battybetty]

Thanks for the comments and thanks remaha for your input too. Don't know how much everyone is still pondering this now.
I have actually made some minor alterations to my story board now, so if anyone wants to take another look (if they haven't already) and comment if they think I should tweak further.

Remaha, you mentioned something about some of the smileys possibly being difficult to understand. Perhaps people could comment on these too? We'd need to bear in mind the target age group when assessing this, which I'd expect to be High School age.

Cheers all

[remaha]

battybetty said:

Thanks for the comments and thanks remaha for your input too. Don't know how much everyone is still pondering this now.
I have actually made some minor alterations to my story board now, so if anyone wants to take another look (if they haven't already) and comment if they think I should tweak further.

Remaha, you mentioned something about some of the smileys possibly being difficult to understand. Perhaps people could comment on these too? We'd need to bear in mind the target age group when assessing this, which I'd expect to be High School age.

Cheers all

bb. it's very kind of you to thank me after all the trouble I've caused. You know that I loved your story from beginning to end. I know you don't like being praised too much, so all I'll say is that I'd never have been able to produce anything that good, not in a million years.

I was looking at bullying-online the other day. It's a superb website in my view and I'm sure they will be delighted to see what you've all been doing.

[battybetty]

remaha said:

battybetty said:

Thanks for the comments and thanks remaha for your input too. Don't know how much everyone is still pondering this now.
I have actually made some minor alterations to my story board now, so if anyone wants to take another look (if they haven't already) and comment if they think I should tweak further.

Remaha, you mentioned something about some of the smileys possibly being difficult to understand. Perhaps people could comment on these too? We'd need to bear in mind the target age group when assessing this, which I'd expect to be High School age.

Cheers all

bb. it's very kind of you to thank me after all the trouble I've caused. You know that I loved your story from beginning to end. I know you don't like being praised too much, so all I'll say is that I'd never have been able to produce anything that good, not in a million years.

I was looking at bullying-online the other day. It's a superb website in my view and I'm sure they will be delighted to see what you've all been doing.

Stuff n nonsense!
Please stop that immediately! Seriously though, I know you weren't criticising me rem, I do that well enough without any help. You also sell yourself way too short mister! xx
Besides, I still want feedback from people on the smileys used, they're so easily swapped!