AISLEYNE TALKS SEX

[Harvestgoddess]

secrethousemate said:

She's getting some from the girls now, AND she's replying:

Dear Aisleyne

What is it about me? I just don't gerrit. I had a boyfriend, he was really special but then one day he's on the phone and he's like "You're dumped", right and I'm like "Ohhh well how can you do this to me? Who are you? Who are you?" and he's like "Well you're a bit annoying really" and I'm like, well, I don't know what to say actually and I'm mad and I can't believe it. What is it with some people? They're like well mad to turn me down. I've got a great bum, all my friends say so and I want to marry a premiership footballer but I'm concerned when I get him into bed I'll disappoint him. What do you suggest?

Nikki G, Watford

Aisleyne says: "Well, well, well. If it isn't the Nutty Princess. Well babes, seeing as you've earned a bundle from all your photo shoots and interviews and stuff, you should be proper loaded innit? With all that dough, you should be well capable of pulling any looker in London, ja get me? F*ck it babes, just spend some of your ill gotten gains on a personal life coach like that Carole Caplin woman. She's just as nutty as you, so you should work well together."

Dear Aisleyne

Ummm, don't know how to put this babes, but ummm you know this is just so weird. I'm going out with this hot guy from Liverpool, he's real fierce. And you know, he has the body of an absolute Adonis and obviously, I'm well hot too, and I've got piles of money, well my Mum does anyway. Anyway we've just got engaged but now I'm concerned the sex is slacking off. Will he still fancy me after we get married?

Grace A, London

Aisleyne says: "Shizzle me nizzle. I got one piece of advice for you, babes. To prevent your boyfriend from overheating your love life, throw some water over him. I hear you're quite good at that sort of thing. Ciao."

PMSL You should be a stand up comic not pete this thread is sooo funny lmao x ;D

[Admin]

I love your houmour SH, you really make me laugh. ;D

[eddybee]

secrethousemate said:

She's getting some from the girls now, AND she's replying:

Dear Aisleyne

What is it about me? I just don't gerrit. I had a boyfriend, he was really special but then one day he's on the phone and he's like "You're dumped", right and I'm like "Ohhh well how can you do this to me? Who are you? Who are you?" and he's like "Well you're a bit annoying really" and I'm like, well, I don't know what to say actually and I'm mad and I can't believe it. What is it with some people? They're like well mad to turn me down. I've got a great bum, all my friends say so and I want to marry a premiership footballer but I'm concerned when I get him into bed I'll disappoint him. What do you suggest?

Nikki G, Watford

Aisleyne says: "Well, well, well. If it isn't the Nutty Princess. Well babes, seeing as you've earned a bundle from all your photo shoots and interviews and stuff, you should be proper loaded innit? With all that dough, you should be well capable of pulling any looker in London, ja get me? F*ck it babes, just spend some of your ill gotten gains on a personal life coach like that Carole Caplin woman. She's just as nutty as you, so you should work well together."

Dear Aisleyne

Ummm, don't know how to put this babes, but ummm you know this is just so weird. I'm going out with this hot guy from Liverpool, he's real fierce. And you know, he has the body of an absolute Adonis and obviously, I'm well hot too, and I've got piles of money, well my Mum does anyway. Anyway we've just got engaged but now I'm concerned the sex is slacking off. Will he still fancy me after we get married?

Grace A, London

Aisleyne says: "Shizzle me nizzle. I got one piece of advice for you, babes. To prevent your boyfriend from overheating your love life, throw some water over him. I hear you're quite good at that sort of thing. Ciao."

Excellent.