too ugly to be loved

[mandala]

last night at 11.30 there was a program with the above title on tele
the program was about body dismorphia (sorry about spelling)
well on it a young girl from burnley was discussing her problems and how she had 6 nose jobs

whilst she was doing this a television was on in the background showing the big brother housemates in the majorettes tasks
then she said if i was a beautiful as aisleyne i would not have a problem as she is a very beautiful person and my heart sank for her as she didnt appear ugly more a mental fixation on her looks which she cant cope with

well i know it was a small viewing but thought i would share

[Angie]

aw bless. I can relate to that. I never allow people to take my photo which drives my Hubby mad cos he says I am taking away my kids memories and as much as I understand that, I still can't do it. I also only look in the mirror when I'm doing my hair and try to never look at anything but my hair while doing so.

[frisky]

I have a touch of body dysmorphia since putting on alot of weight but then I grew up with bad eczema and it affected my self-image. I have felt very ugly in comparison to thin pretty friends of mine.

[CazPar]

What about if you have personality dysmorphia - believe you're too annoying/bad/irritating to be loved? Do they have any treatment for that yet?

Actually, that is a serious question. We seem to live in a society that cares only about the body, but there are plenty of people (I believe) who think there is something wrong with them besides their body that means they can't ever be loved.

Anyone agree?

[frisky]

cazpar said:

What about if you have personality dysmorphia - believe you're too annoying/bad/irritating to be loved? Do they have any treatment for that yet?

Actually, that is a serious question. We seem to live in a society that cares only about the body, but there are plenty of people (I believe) who think there is something wrong with them besides their body that means they can't ever be loved.

Anyone agree?

Well I suffer that too but that is kind of related to issues a bit too sensitive to discuss here; violence and emotional stuff suffered in childhood. Won't go into it.

A treatment for what you mention is possibly cognitive behavioural therapy. Also there are alot of very good 12 step groups for families if you have drug or alcohol users in your family and you cannot cope or have grown up with it. Please pm me if anyone would like further details.

You have a perfectly valid point.

[nobrains]

I am curious hotscotch as what gives you a fear of having your photo taken? Note I probably should not be asking this as you might regard it as intrusive. So ignor me if you think this so.

[Angie]

nobrains said:

I am curious hotscotch as what gives you a fear of having your photo taken? Note I probably should not be asking this as you might regard it as intrusive. So ignor me if you think this so.

Hi, ever since I started to put on weight the sight of me in a photo just repulses me. I have a brother-in-law who knows I was not comfortable with being photographed so insisted on taking my photo at every opportunity 'just for a laugh'. Inevitably these photos always had me looking, shall we say, unamused cos he always tried to frighten me from behind then when I'd turn round he'd take the picture.
Anyway looking at them just made me feel worse about myself and has helped destroy my already low self confidence

[frisky]

hotscotch said:

nobrains said:

I am curious hotscotch as what gives you a fear of having your photo taken? Note I probably should not be asking this as you might regard it as intrusive. So ignor me if you think this so.

Hi, ever since I started to put on weight the sight of me in a photo just repulses me. I have a brother-in-law who knows I was not comfortable with being photographed so insisted on taking my photo at every opportunity 'just for a laugh'. Inevitably these photos always had me looking, shall we say, unamused cos he always tried to frighten me from behind then when I'd turn round he'd take the picture.
Anyway looking at them just made me feel worse about myself and has helped destroy my already low self confidence

Some unasked for advice:-

Buy a throwaway flash camera and do it back to your brother-in-law.

In the beginning say 'I've bought to get over my fear of photography' to lull him into a false sense of security then get the bugger.

Could your husband not tell him to stop? It sounds like an awful thing to have to put up with.

[nobrains]

Ok, please forgive me for interpriting what you are saying, it would seem that you are say that you find it difficult to accept the way your body now looks. We can not stop it from being day and night, yet we seem to have this belielf that we can change the way we look. We accept that we can do nothing about the fact that it is day. If you could possibly move towards a similar acceptance level about the way you look there is a chance you might not worry about how you look on camera.

We here have been saying that the external appearance should not be an issue when we have talked about what Aisleyne wears. Thankyou for sharing your feelings.

[MissLead]

and here's some more unasked for advice also to anyone who feels ugly, or just hates the sight of themselves. God knows it happens to us all, even people I know who are real lookers feel crap about themselves at times. So my thruppence worth is - and it takes some courage, but - worth it! Find out if there's a photography studio in your area that do a mini makeover (makeup, hair) and then they take a glamour photo of you ....with the studio lights ....spot of air brushing....absolutely NOBODY looks ugly, I've seen quite a few of these and they ALWAYS come out gorgeous....not cheating, just YOU at your best!